p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
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I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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