Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
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is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
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I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
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