Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You need a sexual gate keeper
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
did you just send me my own nude
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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