Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
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There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
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Blow job season was short but glorious.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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