she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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