So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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