so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize