i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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