oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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