i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize