i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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