WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize