Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize