we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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