I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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