oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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