Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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