But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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