"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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