8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize