Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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