theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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