so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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