dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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