ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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