i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
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There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
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my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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