She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize