I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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