I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I have aggressive nipples.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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