The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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