she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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