Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize