you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize