I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
As shirtless as possible
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize