I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
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I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
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Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize