So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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