We're facebook friends in real life
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
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