Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
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When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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