If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize