I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize