my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize