I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize