Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize