I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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