Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
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Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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