Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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