8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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