People in love make me want to vomit
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize