Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just gargled with NyQuil
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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