Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize